The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon more helpful hints the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

But when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual review destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Many gay guys want to discover from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar